Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Bringing Balls Back to the Movies?

I tell ya whippersnappers movies ain't what they used to be. Back in my day the Schwarzenegger's, the Stallone's, and even the Van Damme's and Seagal's ruled the box office. Sure alot of these movies had corny dialogue and bad acting, but you know what else they had, they had freaking balls!! In my day a movie was a disaster if it didn't have explosions, bloody martial arts and/or gun battles, and BOOBS! (remember what boobs look like? Sure you can see them on the net practically anywhere, but in the mid-90's boobs scored at the box office, don't lie, you all remember Erika Eleniak popping out of the cake in Under Siege or Ferris' girlfriend Mia Sara getting down in Timecop, and let us not forget beautiful Tia Carrere in a hot tub in Showdown in Little Tokyo) wait a sec what's this post about? Oh yeah now I remember.

Now-a-days good luck finding a cool hard R movie with violence, blood and boobs (the best you can do is this new freaky Torture Porn fad. Did I miss something? I mean sure Blood Sucking Freaks did this back in the 70's but at least it was comical, this new stuff is just arbitrary, and I really doubt there's any psychopathic black midgets named Ralphus torturing women while doing a little dance in Hostel or Saw, though there should be). Anyway, the world we live in today won't even allow John McClane to say Yippee-Ki-Yay MF'r any more (apparently I can't either), so they can get a little more revenue from a PG-13 movie. I mean alot of this is because we have flat screen TVs and DVDs and HD-DVD's (and Blu-Ray I ain't hate'n) and Netflix, and lets be honest theater experiences suck, annoying people, cell phones, screaming kids, and unhelpful theaters probably too afraid of lawsuits to curb annoying theater goers, and the one bad apple adage really fits the movie theater atmosphere.

But let's get real, what was the last bad-ass hard R movie to come to the cineplex? Grind House? Kill Bill? History of Violence? 300?(to an extent) it's kind of a rare dying breed shuffled off to direct-2-dvd instead of facing a dismal box office. Sure 300 came out this summer and sure it was really violent, but it was also amplified by special effects to the extent that you're not at all in the real world but a graphic novel, which I love but it lacks the flare of old school action. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel my friends. That small shining beacon in a PG world is known simply as...

JOHN RAMBO.

That's right, everyone's favorite shell-shocked Vietnam vet you don't mess with or else (that's right David Caruso you know better now!) is back for a 4th (and most likely last) installment, "John Rambo". I remember when I first heard they were making this movie and it was called "Rambo IV: In the Serpents Eye" and everyone made fun of the fact Stallone was too old, and this was before people were impressed with Rocky Balboa mind you. But it looks like we're all fools now because this trailer kicks ass!!!!

From what I've heard this is not a trailer that was meant to go out to the public, but instead was meant for Cannes, but much like Vincent Chase's MEDELLIN the trailer found it's way onto YouTube and it's garnering crazy interest. Pretty much because it's awesome. I mean come on, this is the kind of movie I grew up with. Decapitations, liquefying baddies with a machine gun turret, ripping throats out Road House style, what could be better? The geek in me is also ecstatic over the female lead in the movie. Whose that hot blonde chick yelling at Rambo? Well that is Julie Benz who you might know as Rita from Showtime's hit Dexter, but we at Geek World will always know her as Darla, Angel's sire in TVs Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel (fun fact she was the first vampire shown in makeup in the show, and the first vampire to kill a human, who was played by CSI:NY's Carmine Giovinazzo) she was also in Jawbreaker with Rose McGowen. But aside from the hotness, most of all this trailer just rocks, and if they keep all the gore and action in I'm definitely there.

It's odd, it was thought that with the decay of a society the entertainment would become more and more violent, but instead our technology is forcing everything into PC land, as far as I'm concerned that's only cool if were getting closer to building Star-fleet.

Thanks to IMDB, Google and Youtube for all this fun stuff

--Dave

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